“We must go on because we can’t go back” Robert Louis Stevenson

Andrea sat on her warm cozy bed that was covered in blue, which contrasted with her bright orange hair. While scrolling through numerous university websites on her laptop, her eyes were finally drawn to one. The page’s unique structure and design invited her to stay and explore, and so she did. As Andrea became completely captivated by the website, a sudden knock at the door startled her. As if on instinct, Andrea switched the window to one of her university application essays that she was finalizing.

She called to the person who knocked, “Come in!” The door opened and her brother, Alex entered. Like it often was after a shower, his mahogany hair was wet and unstilted. The light grey sweatpants and jumper emphasized his sea-like eyes while also providing warmth.

“Come downstairs and eat, dinner’s ready," Alex announced aloud.

“Yeah, I’ll come down in a bit,” Andrea responded with her auburn eyes still staring at her screen as she adjusted the sleeves of her jumper. Alex then responded in a serious but sassy tone, “Well, Rea … if you don’t hurry up, I won’t be able to stop myself from eating your food. “

After the comment, Alex felt a soft pillow collide with his face and the sound of Andrea’s voice telling him not to eat her food. Once the pillow landed beneath Alex’s feet, the siblings stared at each other for some time before bursting out in uncontrollable laughter. After talking for a while, Alex left, but he didn’t close the door.

“The nerve of this kid.” Andrea scoffed in disbelief as she stared at her gaping door. Before she went downstairs, she swiftly changed the window back to the website, jotted down the name, “Whitlock School of the Arts” and then turned her computer off.

As soon as Andrea was seated, everyone began to dig into their food. Andrea’s family began to converse amongst each other but her mind was preoccupied with thoughts about Whitlock School of the Arts. It was perfect for her and if she attended, she would be able to accomplish her true dream. A poke on her shoulder stunned her out of her dozed state. She quickly sat up and looked at her parents across from her at the table and then her eyes finally landed on her brother who sat beside her.

Her family stared at her, expecting a response but Andrea was utterly confused. "Um … Did I miss …. something?”

Alex finally caught on and explained that their mother asked about the progress of her university applications for medical school. Andrea’s heart began beating faster. After hearing the question, even though everything with the applications were good, Andrea knew deep down that going to medical school wasn’t something she would enjoy. 

“Yeah, everything is good. I’m just finalizing them so when the time comes to apply, everything is in order.” Andrea stated. Her parents nodded and agreed with her on this matter, and luckily nothing else was said about the ordeal. Her parents’ response made her happy and calmed her heart.

Dinner soon ended and the entire family began to clean up. The parents were packing up the leftovers and clearing the table while Alex and Andrea were on dish duty. Calm music played in the background, resulting in a calm atmosphere but that soon changed as the family’s favourite song began playing and then chaos broke loose. Voices were screaming the lyrics while bodies moved across the cold, tiled floor, dancing like there was no tomorrow. The music eventually ceased and once the family calmed down, they went back to their duties before finally saying their goodnights.

Later that night, Andrea lay soundly in bed, but then her fists gripped firmly onto her blanket as she furrowed her brows, closing her eyes tightly as tears began to build up. She suddenly sprang awake, breathing heavily while dimples of sweat and a few tears ran down her pale face. Once she managed to calm herself down, she looked over at her desk where a digital clock sat.  It was 2:35 am.The sight of the time made her grip her blanket again as the dream, no, the memory rushed back to her. 

Andrea’s senior year of high school was the worst year in her academic journey; she realized it being one of her extreme phases. She failed three of her classes and had to retake the year. One night, after the news was brought to her parents’ attention, she got up to get a glass of water. She heard her mother sobbing as her father tried to console her. 

“What are we going to do with her? If she continues down this path who knows what is in store for her future?” she heard her mother remark in a troubled tone. The water had long since been forgotten as Andrea returned back to her room.

Thinking that she had let her family down, she curled up on the bed in her blanket and started crying. After letting it all out, Andrea became determined to change for the betterment of herself and her family Andrea made it her goal to make her family proud, and she was going to do everything in her power to accomplish it. She checked her clock: 2:55am. After recalling the sad memories of her past, Andrea drifted back to sleep.

Months had passed; Andrea sat nervously at her desk, biting on her nails. Her eyes were glued to her computer screen as she waited anxiously for her university acceptance letters. After refreshing her email several times, a new one from Holland University popped up. She hastily clicked on it and her stomach dropped as she read the first few words: 

“Dear Miss Rose, we regret to inform you …” 

Andrea read the email multiple times, trying to comprehend it, until it finally clicked, she was rejected. Even with the bad news, Andrea remained optimistic because she had applied to other schools. One rejection wasn’t going to sour her mood when she knew things would improve.

Nothing improved though; it was rejection letter after rejection letter. After reading the final rejection email, Andrea burst into tears, realizing she was now officially rejected from every university she had applied to and she had failed her family. Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall. She curled up in the warm blankets on her bed and in an attempt to escape the reality of her life, she lay down and slept. Once she fell asleep, her email pinged with a notification.

Andrea awoke in a puddle of sweat, and she took deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.  She had the dream again, but this time, she was faced with the disappointed looks of her family, making it more terrifying. It wasn’t just that, a voice from her past echoed in her head, reminding her that she was useless and if she became an artist, her family would be disappointed and abandon her. The voice belonged to her ex-friend, Whitney, her comments stuck with Andrea for years because of their truthful nature. Andrea grabbed her laptop from her desk, planning to watch a movie to cheer herself up. When she logged in, she came face to face with her email inbox. She was about to exit it, but a certain email caught her eye. “Whitlock School of the Arts Acceptance Letter.”

Andrea had forgotten about applying to the school; it was nothing more than a method for her to get over the school. Her heart began to race as she moved the cursor and clicked on the email.

“Ms Rose, Congratulations!” 

Those three words made her heart skip a beat. She read the email many times, even going as far as to pinch herself to confirm it was real. She had been accepted into her dream school and she began jumping up and down but her joy was short-lived as she remembered her family and considered their feelings. 

She sat back down on her bed and began pondering, trying to decide the next best course of action. Then she grabbed her computer again and began playing one of her favourite movies, “Mulan”.

The next morning, Andrea confirmed her choice with herself. After washing up in the bathroom, she made her way downstairs for breakfast. As everyone conversed around the table and ate, the conversation soon steered towards school.

“So, Rea, have you heard any news from the universities? her father asked.

“Yeah, I was accepted into Holland University and I have decided to go there.” Andrea lied. “There is also no need to pay for tuition. I’m on a scholarship.”

“Wait, Holland University, the one in Richter city?” Alex asked. 

Andrea nodded in response. 

Her father then spoke up. “Me and your mother will cover your living expenses so you can focus on school.” Andrea felt guilty when she heard that and tried to refuse but was shut down by her mother.

Andrea thought she was doing the right thing by lying, but she had no idea how many problems her lie would cause her future self. Even the most meticulous spider who spins its web can become entangled in its own creation.

Two months had passed and Andrea had moved from Pearce capital to Richter City, into a two bedroom apartment. So far everything was going according to plan. Andrea was on top of her school work, she had made new friends and most importantly, her family hadn’t found out about her lie. She felt the happiest she had ever felt in a long time, as she was able to pursue her dream.

Andrea was sitting in the makeshift studio she had set up in the second bedroom. Working on a painting, when her phone lit up. She placed her paint brush down and picked up her phone. She looked at her notifications for a one week work trip in the city and wanted to spend time with Andrea. Andrea agreed, also wanting to see her mother. A part of her still felt guilty for lying to her family and she knew that eventually they would find out, but all she could do was hope it wasn’t anytime soon.

Two days later, the aroma of vegetables, spices and poultry filled the kitchen, while jazz music played in the background. Andrea cleared and cleaned the second bedroom for her mom and moved her art supplies to her closet and the school’s studio lockers. Hearing the doorbell ring, Andrea quickly turned down the stove. She peered through the tiny peephole and then opened the door once she saw it was her mother. The two women embraced each other lovingly before Andrea pulled away.

“Come in, Mom, dinner is almost ready,” Andrea said as she grabbed her mother’s luggage and ushered her into the apartment. “I’ll go put your bag in your room, but can you check if the food is burnt, please?” Her mother nodded in response.

After serving dinner, the two ladies began eating and catching up. Andrea’s mother noticed her daughter’s avoidance of school related questions or giving very vague answers, making her mom suspicious of Andrea. Andrea didn’t notice her mother becoming more suspicious of her; she just wanted the topic of university to end as quickly as possible.

On the last day of her mother’s trip, Andrea drove home, happy that she was able to spend time with her mom but also relieved that her mom but also relieved that her mom hadn’t uncovered her lie. There was a time Andrea was almost caught, because her mom saw one of her unfinished painting assignments, but she managed to excuse it as a hobby she picked up. Even though the painting was unfinished, her mother could see the talent of the artist and she complimented her daughter before jokingly saying that maybe she should go to art school instead of medical school because of her undeniable talent.

While Andrea was celebrating her small victory in the car, her mother sat on the couch staring at her phone. The image displayed on it was Andrea entering a building using a student ID but the building wasn’t Holland University.

When Andrea arrived home, she called her mom. “Mom, I’m home!” There was no response. She decided to search the kitchen, but no luck there and then she tried the living room, and there her mom was, sitting on the couch, eyes glued to her phone.

“Mom, are you okay?” Andrea asked worriedly. Her mother finally looked at her. She got up from the couch and walked towards Andrea. Lifting her phone up, she showed her daughter the photo, causing her to become a deer in headlights. 

“Why did you lie, Andrea?” her mother asked with tears in her eyes. Andrea opened her mouth to answer but no sound came out.

Her mother seemingly understood that she wouldn’t get an answer and finally allowed the tears to fall down as she walked away from her daughter, leaving the apartment. All Andrea could do was watch as her mother walked away with a pained expression on her face. 

Later that night, Andrea tried contacting her family but it seemed like they were ignoring her calls and texts. She cried for hours that night. She grabbed her journal and began jotting down how she felt and tried to organize her thoughts until she was too tired to continue and fell asleep.

The next morning she woke up, her mind a bit foggy. Andrea read her journal entry from the night before to reflect on her mental state. As she continued reading, she noticed a pattern of her blaming other things for her problems when it was her actions that led to the disaster. 

Andrea spent the whole morning reflecting on her past actions, the past in general, and the situation at hand. Andrea recalled what her mother had said when she found her unfinished painting, although it was said in a joking manner, her mother’s eye told her she was serious. Andrea quickly realized how much her family adored her and it would take more than a few texts or calls to get through to them. 

After all, she had betrayed their trust, as well as undermined their love for her. Andrea quickly packed clothes and essentials, got into her car and drove to Pearce Capital. 

After many hours of driving, Andrea finally arrived in front of her childhood home. She knocked on the front door feeling like a stranger, and then her mother opened the door. Shock was evident on her mother’s face; Andrea plucked up the courage and asked, “Can I come in? I think it’s time I told everyone the truth,”

Her mother nodded and invited her in for dinner. Andrea and her family sat at their usual places but it felt different compared to the other times they shared a meal. The atmosphere was full of weariness and unsureness. Andrea took a deep breath before explaining everything, starting with the past memories of senior year and Whitney to the situation with the acceptance letter, and finally the lie that had led them to this point.

“Mom, you asked me why I lied and I finally have an answer. I was scared; disappointing everyone hurt more than anything, so like a coward, I lied to protect myself.” Andrea said as she held back her tears. “Please don’t take this as an excuse because it isn’t. It’s my reason for lying.” Andrea said. 

 Andrea suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around her, then another, and finally one more. When she looked up, she saw her family hugging her tightly as she cried in their arms. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” she added while embracing her family back,

“You know we still would’ve been proud of you and supported whatever course you chose to pursue, right?” her father said. 

“I realize that now,” Andrea said.

“But just because this situation is somewhat reduced, doesn’t mean we stop working on this family; in order to improve, we must work together.” Her mother added and everyone agreed. 

“Can we also agree that if we have issues, to just talk about it?” Alex said with sass and everyone laughed in agreement. 

They all sat back down for dinner, but this time, the atmosphere had changed, it wasn’t as good as before but also, it wasn’t awkward. Instead, there was a sense of understanding between the members of this family. Andrea watched as her family conversed and cracked jokes and she smiled at the scene feeling content.

The main message of this story is to show young teenagers and adults that whatever path of career they choose to pursue, those people in their life that truly care about them will not only support them but will also hold them accountable for their actions. 

Princess Neemia is a Year 11 student at Church College, Pesega. This literary piece won her first place in the Year 11 English category of the Samoa Observer Short Story Competition.