My Change of Mindset/Perspective & Mental

By Seuiama Arthur Penn 01 December 2022, 10:00AM

Seuiama Arthur Penn Year 7 Vaiala Beach School English 2nd place 

When I was younger, I was a real cocky and arrogant little boy. I grew up next to my grandparents and still do, but I was especially close with my late Mama Katie. Mama had 16 siblings. Woah! Right? Big number and imagine having to live in a household with 16 siblings! Not an easy task. 

Our relationship had grown tremendously over the years. I loved her with my whole heart. She took me everywhere. She was the most loving and funniest grandma out there.

September of 2020, my Mama left for NZ (New Zealand) for her yearly check up. She had a few tests done. The results were returned in October. That’s when we found out she was diagnosed with lung cancer. When we were told the news, my heart was aching. My head was in knots trying to comprehend the complicated situation. At once, my thoughts were gathered, and I had realized that Mama was within the range of death and that worried me a lot! My Papa had agreed that the medication should be done as soon as possible. The doctors had set the medication for February of 2021. She was also set out to do chemotherapy and radiation.

Unfortunately in March of 2021, the medication, radiation and chemotherapy were sadly not enough and it was too late. Her cancer had reached level 4. (Level 4 means that your cancer is nearly incurable and there is nothing the doctors can do) that being there were only 2 options. The first, continue the medication. The second, stop and return home to say your farewells. It was a difficult decision for my family, they did want Mama to survive, but it’s just if they did continue everything nothing would change. Mama would just suffer much more and have to endure a whole new realm of pain.

Considering the situation my family had thought carefully on what’s best for her. And after a long few weeks of concentrated thought followed with a pinch of sadness they had come to a conclusion. They decided that she’ll return home to Samoa to say her farewells. 

Not long after, my family in Samoa had received word that Mama was returning. Many were delighted and filled with joy to reunite with her. However, those who knew the truth of her return had to fight the thought that “she has come to say farewell.” My Father and Mother as well as my Father’s siblings were one of the few people who knew the truth. 

Two months went by and many of our family came to visit. Many also began to realise what was coming and I began to as well. Four weeks prior to her departure, my mother finally told me the truth. As I wnet to bed that night, I was gutted. I fell asleep that night with that very thought circling my brain. The feeling you have when you know a family member is going to pass that pain is equivalent to a knife being stabbed in your very body. My mother had stated that my father and grandfather both people who show very little emotion, cried every night as they laid down to sleep with that specific thought, that I know attained.

On the 7th September 2021 at 5:15pm, my beloved Mama Katie departed our family after losing her year long fight with cancer. This didn’t come easy to my family. And it wouldn’t to any. For the first time I saw my father as well as my grandfather tear up and so did I. That piece of my heart will never be fulfilled again. 

That day really did impact my life and my view of life in general. I went from being a cocky and arrogant little boy to a kid who is as wise as a monk. Mama impacted me a lot in an amazingly good way. I learnt a lot from her as well as my mindset/perspective and mental changed dramatically. She also taught me to cherish those small moments you have with family because you aren’t here for ever. And although it may not seem like it in my heart, I knew there was a change. 


 

By Seuiama Arthur Penn 01 December 2022, 10:00AM
Samoa Observer

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