It’s an eventful month, office parties, church functions, family fiafia and many others. It is a wonderful time but don’t forget that evil does not take holidays. Evil lurks and waits for the perfect opportunity. It doesn’t always creep in the darkness, today, they come in the form of friends, relatives and even parents. How do you ensure that your children are safe during these holidays when you attend adults only functions while kids stay home with sitters or relatives? How often do you check on them while you are away at the function?

Do not easily entrust your children to others especially at this time. When adults drink and host parties at home, there is a sense of false security assuming that other adults will also look out for our children. Your house is open and children are not responsible for their own protection when you invite other adults to your home. As a parent, we are responsible for that. If there is alcohol and children are off to bed, locks are there for good reasons. There are also other ways we can make things safer for our kids during this party season:

1. Brief your children. This is ongoing and not just for events. You should be talking to your child about safety and what to do when they are in uncomfortable situations. A child is never too young to learn about appropriate behaviour from adults and children alike. Teach them accordingly in simple and plain terms. Touching that is appropriate and that which is not.

2. Do not force your child to kiss or hug relatives especially when they object. Adults who want to get that kiss or hug shouldn’t be forcing a child to express affection if they say ‘no’ or not willing to give it. I don’t care if the adult is the grandparent, aunt or whatever. If my child says ‘no’ to unwanted attention, leave them alone and be okay with it. I’ve been in many family situations where adults bribe children with sweets for hugs. Stop telling a child that you will stop loving or liking them if they do not hug or kiss you when they leave. They are not responsible for your issues.

3. Make sure you are leaving your children in the care of trusted people. A grandmother and aunt or a responsible older sibling. Can you really fully trust people with your children?

4. Location matters when you leave or take your kids. If you can get someone to come to your house for babysitting, that would be helpful. Your child will be in their own home and familiar surroundings. Prepare your children and babysitters ahead of time. If there are older siblings, brief them to look out for each other. For girls and younger boys, always take a sister or female cousin to the bathroom when there are adults. Evil is everywhere and evil does not take break during the holidays. In fact, evil will take every opportunity to groom your child to keep secrets.

5. Knowledge is power. Give your child the right information in handling certain situations depending on age.

6. Instil confidence in your child to speak out or tell an adult if they are being put in uncomfortable situations. “No” and “stop” are complete sentences. Make it a norm to encourage your child to communicate and not instruct your child to please adults. People pleasing blurs boundaries and create unhealthy environments for everyone.

7. If something happens, listen to your child, believe your child and ask questions. There is far too much victim blaming and sweeping things under the carpet until they fester and manifest in explosive ways.

8. Trust your gut. If there are red flags and there is no one to leave your child with, don’t go to the event. This is especially challenging for single parents. If children can go to the party, then take them. One party is not worth a lifetime of heartache. Parties will come again next year and no drinking session is better than your children’s safety.

While we enjoy another peaceful Sunday Samoa, remember that evil does not take breaks during christmas. Evil doesn’t care because it is only self pleasing and self centred. It is a selfish adult who doesn’t care for the safety of your child or their future. Only there to take in an instant for a lifetime of pain and even when they are caught, they will deny it only to do it again when they get the chance. Sure, there is the possibility of change and rehabilitation, but how many rapists and molesters change their lives while in jail? Something to remember when we leave our children at the mercy of others.