Yes means stress

Think a minute…Are you a “yes man” or woman? Do you always say yes to everybody who asks you for a favor or help? Some of us just cannot say “no” to others. The problem is our “yes” sometimes means stress—to us and our family.  Usually saying yes to one person means saying no to someone else, often your own spouse and children.    

Of course, we always should be compassionate and caring for others who truly need help. But we must also know our limits, and their limits, so we cannot always say yes to everybody who asks us for help. Learning to sometimes say no to others will mean yes to your own family and responsibilities, which will help lower the stress in your life and home.

Remember, you are the only father or mother your children have; so if you do not do your job of loving and teaching them, no one will! Then your family life at home can become a tense, angry mess instead of a peaceful, happy place.  

So each time someone asks us for a favor and help, we must look carefully at their request and decide if doing this for them is truly helping them. If we never let others take responsibility for themselves and their own problems, then we are not truly helping them to become responsible and successful, since we are always doing their job for them. So just being a “yes man” is not always the kindest thing, nor is it being a true friend. That is a false, crippling kind of compassion. God’s kind of true compassion always dignifies and empowers people to become stronger, better, and more responsible. This is why the apostle Paul told the church’s selfish, lazy freeloaders: “If you don’t work, you don’t eat.”

Other times, when someone asks you to do them a favor, you do not need to answer them right away. You can tell them that you are not sure and you will answer them later after you have had a chance to first check your own family’s schedule and needs. Maybe you can help this other person, but at a different time then they asked. Often, people will still be thankful for your help.  

So have you and your family been living with stress because you are always saying yes? You realize you are giving too much time and energy to helping too many people, while your own family is hurting since you are neglecting your responsibilities to be caring and helpful to them. Sincerely ask Jesus to help you learn how to wisely choose when to say yes and when to say no. Just think a minute…

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