The big decision

Think a minute…”To marry or not to marry?” This decision is so big that it largely determines the life you live and person you become for the rest of your life. Here are seven vital areas that singles need to understand and evaluate before they choose whom to marry.   

Number one: How important is physical appearance to you? How important should it be? If you become seriously ill, including a lifelong condition, will this person stand by you or run out on you? Is their love for you just “skin deep”? How truly deep is your love? 

Number two: Is the person emotionally mature? Do they still have troubling character flaws, insecurities, weaknesses, or anger from their past problems and pain? Does your boyfriend or girlfriend get along well with your family and friends? Do your family and friends feel that this person is good for you? Does this person respect you and your freedom to choose, or does he or she try to control you? Does this person admit when they are wrong, and then try to change and improve? 

Number three is your choice of lifestyle. How do you each like to spend your time and money? Will you do most of your activities together? Or will you each do your own thing? How will you manage your money together? Will you agree on where you spend, invest and give your money? Are you both generous? Are you both self-controlled with you money?

Number four: Do you both have the same important character traits and virtues? Are you honest, kind, forgiving, faithful, responsible and hard-working people? Does this person you have a genuinely good heart and character, or just a nice, pleasing personality? There can be a big difference! Some people have a charming, good personality, but inside they have a bad heart and character.

Number five: What kind of close, physical affection do you each expect from marriage? Do you both want an intimate relationship with open, honest communication and expression of love?

Number six: Are you compatible intellectually? Can you talk about most subjects together and enjoy conversations with each other? You don’t have to match in everything, but at least in the areas that are most important to both of you. Will you be able to freely and fully discuss your major decisions in marriage and parenting? Do you have similar senses of humor so you are able to laugh and enjoy daily life together? 

Number seven: Do you have the same spiritual values, convictions and beliefs on which you will build your life? Are you each going the same direction and taking the same road in life? Deep in your heart, what and who are you each living for? Do you have the same purpose and plan in life? Will you have the same priorities in raising your children? 

There is one decision more than any other that will determine whom you marry and the kind of life you have: your decision to come “home” to your Creator by asking Him to become your Savior and Master. Only Jesus can be your Lord and enable you to fully live the right way He designed you to enjoy. Won’t you ask Him to forgive you and take full charge of every area of your life? Only then can He start guiding you in all of your decisions—most of all your life-changing choice of whom to marry. Just think a minute… 

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