How to Marry the Wrong Person (Part II)

Think a minute…”Love is blind, but marriage opens the eyes.” Yet there are some simple, important things we can know before we get married that will save us the great pain and problems from marrying the wrong person.

Let’s continue yesterday’s topic with two more mistakes people make when choosing the person with whom they will spend the rest of their lives.  

One common mistake that singles make is getting involved sexually before they are married. Of all the studies and research done on divorce, sexual differences are rarely a major reason why couples separate.

Studies actually show that those who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who do not live together before marriage. It is not necessary to take a “test drive” before you get married to find out if you are sexually compatible.

In fact, when couples become sexually involved before marriage, they complicate things and think less clearly about the most important things they need to know before making this life-changing decision. While it is an important, healthy part of your life together, it develops the most satisfaction after you have made your true, lifetime commitment of love to each other.

Furthermore, a happy, successful, lifelong marriage needs more than just good sex or a physically attractive spouse. 

Remember, nobody is just a body. We each are a deep, complete person with our own heart, hopes, values, way of thinking and living. True attractiveness and passion is not just “skin deep.” This is why we need to take the time to really know all the character traits of this other person before we choose to live every day of our life with them. We will have plenty of time in marriage to fully develop our intimate life with them.

Finally, you can marry the wrong person when you are using them to escape from your parents or personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy before you’re married, then you will be unhappy after you’re married also. Getting married will not change the person you yourself are inside. You need to fix your own heart and life before it gets more complicated in a life together with someone else. 

So before you choose your wife or husband, you need to choose Jesus Christ as the love of your life who will lead your heart and relationships. Trust Him. He knows how to guide you into the satisfying marriage that He Himself created you to enjoy.

Ask Him to forgive you for your wrong heart, choices and way of living. Then ask Him to lead you in all your decisions. He will not only help you choose the right person, He will help you become the right person.  Just think a minute… 

Samoa Observer

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