How to marry the wrong person (Part I)

Think a minute…“People often marry a person to get what they need at an age when they do not know what they need.” In fact, “Some women spend more time choosing their wedding dress than they do choosing their husband.”

Sadly, many people make major mistakes in choosing the person with whom they will spend the rest of their lives. Today and tomorrow we will discuss five common mistakes people make in this life-changing decision.  

The first mistake is when you expect that person to change after you are married. Sometimes people can change after they’re married…for the worse! A wise leader made this observation: “People can change…but most don’t.”  A few people improve, but it is a sad fact of life that the majority of people have their same bad character traits, attitudes, habits, and values at age 60 that they did at age 30. So when it comes to your potential spouse’s character, values, habits, and ways they spend their time and money, make sure you’re happy with them just the way they are now!

Another common mistake is when you care more about chemistry than character. Is it love or lust? Physical attraction alone can wear out in time, even quickly. Remember: “Marriage is like a violin: after the music is over the strings are still attached.” There are four important things in a person’s character to look for. 

The first is honesty and integrity. Does this person do the right thing, no matter what he can get away with, or what it costs him? Remember, if they lie to others, they will probably lie to you too! 

The second important character trait is kindness: How does this person treat you? Family members? Friends? Strangers? Does this person have a caring heart or a hard heart that lacks compassion for other people?

The third trait is responsibility. Can you trust and depend on him or her? Does he or she work hard to become the best spouse, parent, and provider they can be? 

Fourth, is this person basically happy? Do they enjoy life? Usually, if someone does not like himself, he won’t genuinely like and enjoy other people either. 

Finally, ask yourself: Do I feel good about myself when I’m with this person? Do I want to become like this person? Do I want my children to become like him or her?

Another mistake people make in choosing whom to marry is when they pick someone who does not have the same values and priorities in life as they do. “A soul mate is a goal mate.” In other words, are they going the same direction in life you are? If you don’t love and live for the same things, then you both will be unhappy. And you definitely won’t be good for each other’s soul! 

If you’re single, do not rush in to marriage! It can be the happiest or most unhappy experience of your life. Today, sincerely ask Jesus to take full charge of your character and choices every day, for the rest of your life. He is the only One who can help you choose the right person, and, help you become the right person for someone else. Just think a minute…

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