For the most part court appearances are anything but funny but from time to time, a little light humour relieves the tension and tedium – sometimes by lawyers themselves. On other occasions the formality of courts is obviously less than intimidating to witnesses. Here are a few examples: 

LAWYER: Doctor, how many of your autopsies 

have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up 

too much of a fight. and

LAWYER: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and 

had a beard

LAWYER: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town I'm going 

with male.

And finally,

LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

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