Think a minute…John Wooden is one of the most successful sports coaches in U.S. history. In fact, psychologists have studied how Coach Wooden taught and motivated his players to become their best.
He used both praise and punishment, but he knew when to use each. Here are some wise tips from that great coach which we parents can use to help our kids become their best.
Number one: Teach your kids to stay away from wrong attitudes and actions, but not to stay away from you! Coach Wooden got close to his players, and often told them how much he cared and believed in them.
It is a simple fact that if we do not show our love to our children, they will not have the total security and confidence to become their best in life. If we get angry and make our kids afraid of us, then they will resent us and not have a strong desire to do their best.
Furthermore, they will definitely not want to be close to us. Remember: “Rules without relationship bring rebellion.” But if we explain to our kids that our rules are so they will be happy and successful, then later when they leave home, they will take with them both our love and our wise rules to guide them for the rest of their lives.
Number two: Correct your children’s wrong behavior both quickly and lovingly.
Do not wait until it builds up and you finally blow up and deeply hurt your child. Help your child understand what it is they need to change.
But at the same time patiently and lovingly explain to them why. Otherwise, you are not truly teaching them, and they do not learn why and how to become more responsible, honest, self-controlled and kind.
Number three: Don’t make the punishment last too long, but make it fair and appropriate. Do not use a bomb to kill a mosquito! And do not shame or humiliate your child. This can break their spirit and self-confidence, as well as their trust in you.
Number four: Praise your kid for all the right things they do. Often the only time we say something to our kids is if they make a mistake; so they just give up hope after awhile, since we make them feel like they can never be good enough for us.
Finally: Make sure that love is always the reason you are either praising or punishing your child. Never forget, there is one person who loves your kids even more than you do, and He is the One Who gave them life.
So if you ask Him, Jesus will forgive you for your failures as a father or mother. He will also give you His love and wisdom you need daily to bring out the best in your children—by knowing when and how to lovingly give them both praise and punishment. Just think a minute…