Being me

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Jackie Fa’asisila

Deeper than skin colour

Hidden behind a mask of white

Native blood surges from my soul

Part of a world I can never fully embrace

The real me hidden

 

The legacy of a proud warrior people

Crushed by the conquest of men white

Drowned by alcohol and violence

Robbed of language, land and knowledge

Left with destruction and pain

 

I struggle for a place to belong

My cocoon of comfort and security

Strangled by stereotypes and unrealistic standards

Not brown enough to be one of them

Bigotry and hate

 

I search for acceptance and authenticity

Either I am or I am not

On the outskirts looking in - fragmented

Torn between imposter and real

Trapped in a body white

 

The journey of becoming life long

Identity ever changing

The search for the uniqueness

Of who I am

Never ending 

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