New year’s resolutions, You can handle it!

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NIE COLUMNIST: Quenjule Slaven.

Another new year to make things right!  But what happens at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve that suddenly transforms a person you were last year, so bad that you have to spend an entire year working to change yourself?  

Having said that, you must know that even though I have failed miserably when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I do actually write them down.  I don’t know why, I guess it’s peer pressure or something like that.  Of course my friends and family do it, so I must also do it.  Come to think of it, are you sick of making the same list of resolutions year after year and never seem to keep them?  

If you haven’t learned your lesson by now, here are some resolutions you can accomplish throughout the year like read less books, procrastinate more, gain at least twenty pounds this year, stop exercising because it is a waste of time, watch more television and spend all your money on sweets.  Sadly, that will not make you a better, healthy and upstanding citizen. So let’s try something else. 

Every year I try to reinvent myself, but this year I decided to do something different and not give in to this peer-pressure.  I did some research and found the top New Year’s resolutions in the world.  So I have decided why not use them, after all everybody does or they wouldn’t be the top resolutions.

1.Become a better person.  Okay, how vague can you get?  Become better at what exactly?   Eating more chocolate?  Pulling my sisters’ hair when they talk back?  Some specifics would be awesome.

2. Eat Better.  Fine that’s easy.  I will order a McChicken burger instead of a Big Mac and flush it down with a diet coke.  I mean white meat is supposedly way better for me than red meat.  Oh yes and eat more vegetables. Chocolate is definitely a vegetable. Chocolate comes from cocoa beans. Beans=vegetable. Sugar comes from sugar canes and is a vegetable. Both are plants and categorised as vegetables. Therefore, chocolate is a vegetable.

3.Be more patients with others.  Seriously?  I invented patience.  I mean if you look the word patience up in a dictionary, you will see my photo right next to it.    

4. Exercise.  I heard the older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. The only form of exercise I get nowadays is jumping to conclusions. Note to self, join the challenge at the gym this year.

5. Lose weight. Sadly, I will never accomplish this resolution because I love my food.  And food loves me just as much that it sticks to my butt and thighs like a magnet no matter how much dieting I do.  

6. Save more money.  I guess it means to buy more stuff when it’s on sale?

Well, there you have it, a list of some of the top resolutions in the world.  I don’t know how many I can do, but you can bet my cat’s tail, I will try.  Seriously though, we all go through some kind of challenges or disappointments. 

It’s easy to let it overwhelm us to the point we give up, but the fact is God would not have allowed it, if you couldn’t handle it.  I just say to myself when things are getting tough, “I can handle it.  I can handle this difficult goal.  I can handle my grouchy siblings.  I can handle anything, if God is here with me.”  

I read this very funny story about this wealthy man who was having a big party at his house.  His swimming pool was literally filled with sharks and alligators.  He decided to have a little fun, so he announced to all the guests, “Anyone who will swim across my pool, I will give you anything you want.”

After a few seconds, there was a huge, big splash.  Everyone looked over, and there it was, this woman was swimming sixty, no I mean ninety km/hr, dodging the alligators and sharks, as frantic and panicking as could be.   

She barely made it to the other side, just in the nick of time.  She jumped out shaking with fear.  The wealthy man came over and said to her, “You must be the bravest person I have ever met.  Now what do you want me to give you?”

The woman looked around and cried, “What I want more than anything else, is the name of the person who pushed me in the pool.”

The moral of the story is sometimes in life it feels as though we got pushed in.  We weren’t expecting to fail in our goals or gain thirty pounds.  But if you get pushed in this year, don’t just sit there and whine about not accomplishing your resolutions.    Do as this woman did and just go for it.  Keep being your best, never give up and keep honouring God.  We have been given everything: wisdom, strength and determination not only to make it through difficult times, but to become better than we were before.  This year is going to be great.

Have an awesome 2016 and remember…….. You too can handle it!

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